My Cup, Your Cup, and the Tea Story That Hit Me Different
I’ve always loved coffee. Not just the drink, the ritual, the conversation, the moment around it. Coffee has always been my symbol for connection.
If you’ve ever worked with me, had a conversation with me, or sat across a table from me, you know this about me:
I like to fill other people’s cups.
Encouragement.
Energy.
Opportunity.
Perspective.
Support.
And I try to live in a way where my own cup is so full of gratitude and joy that it spills over onto others. But recently I revisited the story of the Zen master and the overflowing teacup, and it landed differently.
The story we all know
A student goes to a Zen master to learn.
The master begins teaching, but the student keeps interrupting:
“I know.”
“I’ve heard that.”
“Yes, yes, I get it.”
So the master pours tea.
And keeps pouring.
The cup fills. Then overflows.
“Stop! The cup is full!” the student says.
The master calmly replies:
“Exactly. Return when your cup is empty.”
Most people interpret this as a lesson about ego and being closed-minded.
And it absolutely is.
But I realized something else.
Not all overflowing cups are the same
There’s a difference between:
A cup overflowing with certainty, ego, and “I already know”
and
A cup overflowing with gratitude, joy, and a desire to serve
From the outside, both can look intense.
High energy.
Strong presence.
Passion.
Momentum.
But the internal posture is completely different.
One kind of full cup shuts the door.
The other is simply pouring forward what it has been given.
Why this hit home
I’ve realized not everyone sees an overflowing pour the same way.
Sometimes enthusiasm feels like “too much.”
Sometimes encouragement feels like intensity.
Sometimes generosity looks like noise.
But for me, the source matters.
It’s not about having all the answers.
It’s not about being the loudest in the room.
It’s about living from a place where:
I know I’m not finished.
I know I’m still learning.
I know I still need my cup refilled too.
I just refuse to live small with what’s already been poured into me.
The balance I’m learning
I can:
Let gratitude overflow
Pour into others
And still keep part of my cup open enough to learn
Because the goal isn’t to be empty.
The goal is to never be so full of yourself that nothing new can enter.
Gratitude can overflow.
Joy can overflow.
Kindness can overflow.
Just make sure humility still has a seat at the table.
Some people pour to be seen.
I want to pour because I’ve been filled.
And I’m still learning to hold both:
An overflowing heart
and an open cup.